whatevverrrr

i am so sick of all this fighting. i get that he has alot of shit hes going through right now but this has gone too far. like i dont have enough things to stress on. whatever this isnt even worth blogging about.

school is such a bitch. im not doing as good as i should for sure. im starting to worry about graduation. fuck i worked so hard to get through this program. i got to step up my shit and throw my negative attitude out the window. maybe thats why no matter how hard i study i still end up failing. uggh wtf is wrong with me!??!? im losing my fucking mind! seriously i need a fucking break. the other night i was so burnt out i was crying on my bed for like 15 mins then downed half a gallon of rocky road ice cream. omg i have issues. plz GOD just get me through finals and graduation. im so stressed out. im getting fat its so nasty. my cellulite is out of control! my underwear is tight on me thats how bad it is. my ass dont fit in my underwear no more! wtf! lol. seriously, all i want to do is go shopping. the new hello kitty kouture line from mac cosmetics is coming out on thursday. i wish i had money =( ive spending time getting shit ready for valentines day and making this shit for derick. i dont even think he deserves it. fuck mayyn, he just adds to the stress in my life.

i cant take it. i hate how negative and how whiney im being right now but i cant help it. i need to get it out before i murder a bitch for real. i swear if i just pass my term and graduate on time id be the happiest whore in the world! then i would spend all my days just studying and working out and chilling and clubbing and partying and shopping and wtf ever i want. no more waking up early or sleeping in the car for hours. no wonder i have back problems now. its unbelieveable the sacrafices i had to make just to go to school. i need this so bad. to pass and graduate.

im just so frustrated. i need derick so much right now but hes too caught up in his shit to even realized hes leaving me hanging. we need to help each other and work together make shit easier. wtf dude? all i ever get is his constant whining and complaints. this is some bullshit. i try to be nice and he takes fucking advantage. i dont think so. its so sad cuz as soon as shit gets better and were so happy, it gets 3 times worse in a matter of seconds. our anniversary and valentines day is this saturday also. i need some help. fuckkk!!!!