Our relationship is like a yoyo. One minute were up. One minute were down. I know I'm to that point already. Where my walls are going back up. Make myself NOT care. I can't keep forcing him to be who I want him to be. I can't keep begging him to try for me cause he's not the only one who needs love & someone to lean on. Love was always my guide. It was always so easy for me to forgive him and see past his mistakes and things that get on my nerves cause I always made excuses about our "love". How I should understand him, see his perspective, be understanding.. cause that what you do for someone you love right? But I never got the same in return. Even the little things I would ask for that would make me content he couldn't give me. It hurts so much when I truly care if he needs me or hes stressed out or in pain & when it's me who's hurting so much he doesn't care. He can leave me hanging for days because he's so fucking prideful & only thinks about his issues and needs. I'm tired of being abandoned. He isn't the person I thought he was. The guy who would do anything for me. & I think I accept it now. No more excuses. At least I know I tried to save us. I gave him everything he asked for & did I even get a thank you? NO. Nothing but constant complaining that I'm not doing or trying hard enough.
Well enough. I'm gonna be the strong girl I once was. I'm not gonna do this anymore. I told him I need my space & time away from him. I need to think of what I'm gonna do. Cause no matter how much I may "love" him. I can't be with someone who doesn't even give me the simple things I need. Or who doesn't seem to love me in return :(
Don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky Dust in the wind, All we are is dust in the wind