If time stood still..

I finally have some room & time to myself right now cause my sister is out with a friend. Im bumping paramore right now & just relaxing. Work today was pretty chill. I found a way to do my work & manage my time so that I dont end up standing for hours & just being so tired. I was able to sleep well last night thank GOD. I felt my body shutting down on me. It felt so nice to be rejuvenated. Working as a nurse can be so hard & stressful sometimes. I'm happy that I'm getting the hang of it. That I can handle any situation & still be calm. It was so hard at first. Thank YOU GOD for always keeping me strong.

Missin you..

I miss Derick so much. lol look how goofy we are. He's been gone for two days so far at Sacramento preparing for his field training in August. They took his phone so I havent been able to talk to him. Omg I dont even know how Ill be able to handle it when he leaves. Hell be gone for a month. NO phone, no internet, nothing. Only letters. Im gonna be so sad I dont even know how to get through my days without him :( I was crying yesterday thinking about it. But thankfully, my work actually helps. Yeah, I probably wont feel like going but atleast when im there, I get distracted & it wont hurt so much. I only have two more weeks with him before he leaves. This weekend I'm not gonna let go of him even for a minute. Friday he's all mines. I want to shop & go to our favorite korean bbq for dinner. Then Saturday Disney is finally here! We've been together for 5 years & weve never even been to a theme park together. We're double dating with Butch & Jo. It should be fun but probably gonna be so hot. I felt like I stepped into an oven when I walked out of work today! This heat is insane!

I hate being surrounded by negativity & girls. One main reason I DONT get along with girls is cause a lot of them dont know how to keep their mouths shut. Its so annoying. Always talking shit about people when who are they to judge? I wish people could just be mellow & humble & accept people for how they are. No one is perfect. I dont understand why girls feel the need to be mean all the time. This is why I only have a couple girlfriends. I mostly just get along with guys. Like for one thing, I am always judged. I always hear that I'm a stuck up conceited bitch when I'm actually super goofy & clutsy & nice! & I'm ony mean if someone is being mean to me obviously. I just wish this world was filled with more love. It sucks sometimes.


I barely started getting back on track AGAIN with my working out & eating right yesterday. I feel good though. My body doesnt feel as jiggly, I feel more motivated. I need to lose this weight while my sister is here for the summer & is down to workout with me everyday! I finally have a workout buddy & ive been lazy to workout! Plus when my boyfriend comes home in the end of August, I want him to come home to a hot girlfriend. lol I want to get back to this size.