Wednesday, August 5, 2009

It hurts so much cause I know that we could be so great together. We could be so happy together, but things just don't seem to work out. I'm so tired of fighting. I'm tired of being unappreciated. I'm tired of being controlled. I'm tired of him fucking clicking on me all the time. I'm tired of BLOGGING all the time having to vent about our stupid issues. I'm tired of not being trusted when I've always been faithful. I should have trust issues with HIM, but I'm way more chill and don't trip out over every little thing. I give him his freedom. I give him everything. & we still can't make this work. It's so sad cause when we are not fighting, were so unbelievably happy.

I'm so confused. I just don't know what to do with this relationship anymore. One minute were so happy and in a matter of seconds were so miserable.Like how do you solve that? How can we work things out & just put our pride aside? It's getting harder and harder to do that cause the hurt & bitterness keeps building up inside us both. We just don't understand each other.

The things that I ask for are so simple. Give me my freedom. I don't want to be controlled my whole life just like how my parents have always controlled my every move just cause HE is insecure over NOTHING. I just want the good things that I do to be noticed. Even just a thank you now and then. But all he ever focuses on are my flaws and that im a "BITCH". I'm only this way cause you make me this way. He gets on my case over everything, gets mad at me for a phone call that I DIDN'T even make, and he wonders why I start acting like a bitch.

I just feel so lost.& he still just doesn't understand. I need to do this for me. I strive everyday to be happy in spite of things. & This relationship just doesn't make me happy anymore =(

3 comments:

  1. hey honey, I love how open you are about whats going on, and blogspot is a way to really vent out and express yourself to "Free" yourself, i'm sorry to here about the fightings that have been going on, ima pray for you guys! just kno that no one is perfect, we all fight, but how we handle it is what matters, because what follows is the outcome, hang in there, make sure you both equally talk out, work out your situations, to help improve and strengthen your guys relationship, as long as you try, but always remember it must be equal, because if its not then thats were things start to fall, but ir you continue to work hard together to make it work, then there is hope to continue love, comment/ or e-mail me whenever girl!

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  2. im sorry your going through that, me and my bf were the same way till i told him it was over and seperated for like a month and then we got back together and he was a changed man. i hope everything works out for you. and thanks for the tips on nclex.

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  3. ok, so your nclex is done. you can now focus on the other parts of your life that REALLY needs taking care of.

    chelle, you need to put your foot down on this. i know its easy to say to make up your mind already about this. but the acting part is very hard but i think you have to. you have to decide if this relationship is still worth it. if it is, then accept the fights and stop complaining about it. if its not, then sadly, you need to break it off. or maybe, you could like give each other time of from each other. to think things through. i dont know whats best for you but i just know that you have to do something. coz i think that if you just keep on waiting and let the fights keep on coming and tire you down. there might come a time when even the love is gone and all you can think of is how exhausted you are. i dont think that this relationship should be like that. i mean you both love each other. and if it does end, i dont think it should end like that. so you have to do something. call me if you need to rant. im here. love ya :)

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