I miss my boyfriend so much I feel like my heart is being torn in two :( I was ok at first and hes been gone for about 5 days now and its getting harder each time. Still 3 weeks & 3 days till he comes home to me. I feel like I'm surrounded by all these fake people. He was the only real thing I have, and hes not even here with me. It hurts so much. I feel so lonely. I promised him that when he got back he would see good changes in me. For one, that I lost some weight and also got some of my issues together. It's just hard to focus when I feel this sad. & on top of this it's also gonna be that time of the month. So im an emotional wreck right now. I was doing well this week working out and eating better but today was such a total fail. I didnt workout & of course I pigged out. I cant let all this get me down! I want to be better & stronger & happier! As much as I love my boyfriend I dont want my life to be focused totally on him. I need to be able to be happy without him also.. I dont know. Im trying so hard to get all my issues straight with myself. Im so depressed right now thinking that I will never be able to change these things about myself. What is wrong with me?! I made a goals book that I told myself I would read everyday so that I can constantly have in mind what I want to change and better about myself, it helps alot when I write down what I want to change. I just feel super sad today for some reason.
I am going to stop worrying & stressing out now. I know everything will fall into place as they always do. God is with me. HE will guide me on the right path. Please LORD give me strength right now. I love you.