Why is it ALWAYS me?

I'm so tired of hearing that I'm a selfish bitch girlfriend when all I ever do is give him everything. I always put my pride down so we can make things better. & I'm the selfish one who leaves him hanging? Seriously, I need time away. This is too much. On top of all the other issues I have with him. I won't put myself through this. Even last night even when I was hurt I let it go cause I know he needed me. & this is the thanks I get. I won't waste anymore time with his shit. What a waste of my time even blogging about this. Take ALL the time you need & I'll do the same.

Jedokan fun & today

So I'm really glad that Derick forced me to start doing his Jedokan classes with him. Sensei Jeff and everyone there are sooo super nice! They made me feel totally at ease and part of their Jedokan family. I get such a bomb workout in the cardio class and I also feel as if I've already picked up a little something in the actual Jedokan class. Sensei Jeff even invited us to join them in their Jedokan bowling activity on Saturday morning and then we had a bbq at Reina and Ging's house. I suck at bowling! We went to Reina's pad right after. It was so mad hot! I ate bbq, chicken, ice cream cones and other stuff. I sat outside and watched the boys play basketball. I played a little one on one with Derick. lol I wasn't even wearing appropriate shoes. I wish I did some karaoke before I left hahahaha. Anyways, overall I really like it. I am gonna start going with him from now on. I need the extra workouts plus I am learning martial arts! Awesome!





Today I went to church with my family. The people sitting behind us were so rude. They literally talked throughout the entire mass. Like why are you even there? Go home. It still amazes me how people these days are so fucking rude and have no respect. Ughh! Afterwards we had lunch at Carl's Jr. I shopped around F21 cause I ripped my black leggings and I needed another pair. I also bought a necklace and a pair of earrings. I love the jewelry and accessories at F21! So cute and affordable! Hahaha. We then shopped around Island Pacific, cam whored, and went home. Omg I'm exhausted. I've been having disturbed sleep for 3 nights in a row.
My sister and i. we look nothing alike i know. lol

BFF's Graduation!

Today was my bff's graduation from her medical billing program. It was so much fun. Matt and I waited in her living room for her to get ready and took some goofy pictures. We waiting for her family and then headed out. Omg that graduation ceremony was more ghetto than mines! & it took forever me and Matt were dying of boredom! Matt is such a funny slut I love that foo! lol he can make me laugh like there's no tomorrow I swear. hahahaa. After it ended we took a few pictures and got some cake, cookies and soda from the refreshment tables. Her mom treated us out to bbq unlimited next to Sanams. The food was whatever but that was nice of Sol's mom anyways cause me and Matt are broke whores. lol. I love my skanks Sol and Matt!! Hahaha. Here are some pictures <3
My whore Matt and I!





My solos!




My Pookie Head!


I love my skanks Sol and Matt!



Anyways, I'm disappointed in myself again cause I didn't get to workout today cause I had to babysit then rush to get ready for Sol's graduation. I also ate pretty bad =( My pictures from today I look like a heffer ughh it's so ugly! I gotta do some crazy tae bo tomorrow and for the rest of this week. Omg I really need to overcome this laziness. I hate how I look right now. Seriously =(

Some Girly Goodies I Got Recently

Smokey Eye

I feel like a fugly whore!

I'm so depressed right now. I feel like such a heffa ass! I hate how I can never stay consistent with shit. I need to fucking eat better, I need to workout daily and I need to fucking keep it up! I feel so fat and fugly. I hate feeling like this. The few times I do it hits me hard cause I'm usually all in love with myself even if I'm chubby. But now I just feel way to fat and unattractive. I know I'll get over it eventually, quit whining and just do the shit I need to do so that I can be hot. But for now I just need to vent. I mean, I didn't really eat that bad this week except yesterday cause I was upset. I'm happy that I have a boyfriend who makes me feel like the most gorgeous bitch on the planet even if I'm fat and bummin it with no makeup. Ughh I hate this! I really really need to work on staying consistent with shit I need to do. One day I'm lazy, one day I feel like working out, one day I eat like there's no tomorrow. I really need to make lifelong changes with my eating habits and working out. Not just for now or for a couple months or for a week or whatever. I need to do this for myself or I'll always be a lazy fat whore. I need to workout ATLEAST 4 to 5 days a week no fucking excuses. I need to eat healthier from now on and not just for a little while. Otherwise what a waste when I gain back all the weight I've lost. I don't have a problem working out or dieting, I have a problem staying consistent. Not even just with that but with everything else in my life. I think that is my biggest flaw =/ I have to work hard to change cause I can't keep living my life this way. Ok I just needed to vent. I'll quit whining now and just workout and diet from now on. I have to let my will power and mind overcome my lazy fat body!

Shopping and Lunch with the BFF

Today was so much fun. So I was knocked out so tired this morning and Sol kept hitting up my cell like crazy. I finally called her back and she told me to get ready cause we're gonna grub and go shopping! You know I was down. Hahaha. I got ready, did my hair and makeup and went to Stonefire Grill for lunch. Ordered our usual bbq chopped salad and breadsticks. Aftewards we went to Northridge Mall and shopped around F21. I bumped into so many people I haven't seen in so long. I bumped into Justin who I haven't seen since Junior year. I saw his cute daughter! I met his wifey. Sol and I got some crepes and while we headed out I bumped into my slut KYLE! I haven't seen him in a minute either. Caught up for a quick second. Then we went to Fashion Q and General Discount. Went home and worked out. Then did our nails. I love my BFF! =]

Tomorrow Mike is having a kickback cause he's back in the valley again. I get to see my whore Margie! Woooott!

Rambling.

My head is pounding right now. I took my CT scan on Friday, I just hope everything turns out okay. The guy who took it was an ass. He was straight up rude to Derick. He wouldn't even let Derick be there with me while I was scanned. So he was just watching from the outside. I hope that idiot doesn't mess with my results cause Derick was dogging him out for checking me out and looking down my shirt while I was lying there, and for being a rude motherfucker. Ughh I hate unprofessional assholes! Seriously though, my headaches are crazy and it only hurts on the right side of my head =/ I'm starting to get scared.

So today I went with my Grandma to the mall and Seafood City. I saw Mavae there and wow she lost a grip of weight! She looks good! It motivated me more to stick to my workout and diet routine. I have a goal. By the end of September I am going to be sexy again. So I have 3 months to lose weight and get to that goal. My summer consists of studying for my nclex which I'm taking in a month in a half on August 4th and working out. I am meeting Derick's parents for the first time as his official gf on his 21st birthday & I don't want to meet them when I'm still a lard ass. Filipino parents are so judgemental! I mean, they know I'm Derick's gf but I've never offically met them properly like how Derick met my parents cause Derick and I keep getting into some kind of trouble that makes his parents hate me. Derick has been bugging me forever to meet them already but I'm scared cause of all these bad run ins I have with them. Like when we went to San Jose and got into a car accident. Derick was driving my van so of course he got involved and his parents didn't even know he was in San Jose with me for the weekend. & just all this other drama. So when I meet them this time, I need to be ready. I want to be skinny and hot, and I want to have taken my nclex. Ughh I'm so nervous!

I worked out today for an hour. I ate better. I ate my fruits and veggies. I didn't eat that much rice. So yayy for being healthy again! I haven't eaten healthy like that since last year when I lost all that mad weight! Tomorrow I have to go with Derick to his jedokan class cause I promised I would and he's been bugging me forever! I'm actually excited! I always wanted to learn some kind of martial arts =)

Pink fish pie contest

Jian over pinkfishpie.blogspot.com is throwing a contest! You could win a Barbara Daly for Tesco concealer, a Sleek-i-Divine palette, and a mini Bad Gal lash by Benefit. I would loovve to win cause the the eyeshadow pallet looks so cute and ive never heard of these brand and i would love to try it out! Look how cute the prizes are!


The rules are pretty simple:
1. You must be a follower.
2. You must have your own blog.
3. Entries are limited to one per person.
4. You must follow my "How to Enter" instructions.

So,
here is the link to enter!
http://pinkfishpie.blogspot.com/2009/06/contest-time-win-barbara-daly-for-tesco.html

We're Still Here Baby!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY!! I LOVE YOU!!

Your Still The One
still & always will be our song..
Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We might have took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday
They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong
You're still the one
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
You're still the one
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night
Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'
I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come my baby

Leelan<3

I love my boyfriend so much. We did nothing all weekend but literally sit in my living room, watch movies, eat and cuddle and we still have fun. After all this time I still get little butterflies when we kiss, I still can't wait to see him and get his phone calls. MMMMMM being in love feels so good =). He had to leave me early tonight cause Butch and him and some other guys are going airsoft shooting. I hope they have fun. I love you baby! For more than forever!

My Room

I took pictures of my room before I have to move everything around tomorrow. Ughh I do not want to share a room with my sister again! 3 months is too long!
My vanity

My canopy bed and purple bed sheets

My jewelry box and bedside table

My dresser and lamp

My tv stand/book stand

My full length mirror

My desk & where I study and keep my books.

My closet

My bags

Some of my shoes

From my doorway

Pictures on my wall

My scarves

My Hiking Buddies!

This weather is so depressing!

I'm so irritated right now. This weather is really messing me up. It's making me gloomy and lazy. OMG it's been 3 weeks since I last worked out. I'm extra depressed cause I feel my weight packin on. I just feel so out of it. I wish the sun would just shine already. I'm also sick for the third time in less than 2 months. I haven't even been studying. I've literally been spending my days playing on my laptop, watching tv, or at my little cousin's house playing video games. I've just been in a bad mood. On top of that I'm PMSing. On Sunday I SWEAR I'm gonna start working out again and eating better! I have to maintain my hotness! Hahahaaha.

My sister is moving back home tomorrow for the summer. I'm soo pissed cause now I have to share my room again for 3 whole months, move around all my stuff so I can make room for her stuff. This sucks! & after everything that has happened it's been awkward and weird with my sister. I just don't want to lose the only place in the house where I can chill and be on my own and have my own space. UGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really don't want to share my room again =(

On a brighter note, I went shopping with Sol on Tuesday and got some cute tops and fashion jewelry at Fashion Q. I love that place! Tomorrow after Derick and I go to the doctor for my cat scan I want to stop by F21 and buy some more accessories.

Last Saturday morning, Derick, Evie, Butch and I went hiking again at Porter Ranch. Omg it was soo much fun! We had like a little mini adventure. We were swinging on ropes over little streams, we hiked all the way down to the bottom where the waterfall is. We walked through the streams on the slippery rocks all the way through until we came to a dead end. Butch even took 2 tadpoles and named them Michelle and Eve and then forgot them later in the back of Derick's trunk! Haha. I even fell on my back and head and now my shoulder is still hurting. We were scared we would see a coyote or mountain lion cause we were in the areas where there are no trails or people. It was just so beautiful and fun. I love nature. I literally said "omg it's so pretty!" that day like 20 times! I was so mad that I didn't get to take pictures cause no one wanted to walk back to the car and get it with me. lol. They would have been gorgeous shots. We plan to make our jogging/hiking an every week Saturday morning routine. Next week we want to go to some hiking place at Malibu and maybe Santa Monica the week after. OOh I can't wait!

So anyways, I just needed to vent. I have to stop being so negative. I am a hot gorgeous bitch! I just need to workout and eat better. I am going to pass the nclex and become a successful nurse. I'll manage having to share a room again. & everything will be fine. I need to snap out of it. I hate feeling so negative and depressed.

Andrea Bocelli!

I'm listening to Andrea Bocelli right now and omg I'm in love! His voice and music is so amazing! He is so talented it's unbelievable. Especially his performance with Katherine Mcphee where they sang The Prayer. Awwe every time I hear it I want to cry. It's so beautiful. Seriously, you guys should look it up. Derick made me listen to a bunch of his other songs. WOW. All I can say is that he is soo amazing. lol.
The Prayer
I pray you’ll be our eyes,
and watch us where we go
And help us to be wise,
in times when we don’t know
Let this be our prayer,
when we lose our way
Lead us to the place,
guide us with your grace
To a place where we’ll be safe.
I pray we’ll find your light
And hold it in our hearts
When stars go out each night
Let this be our prayer
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe

We ask that life be kind
And watch us from above
We hope each soul will find
Another soul to love
Let this be our prayer
Just like every child

Need to find a place,
guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe

I was bored so I did my hair lol

Rawwrr ;]

Out with my BFF

BBQ chopped salad! Yumm!

breadsticks!